Today I learned that WE are the directors of our life. God is the producer, and we are the directors. Like Michael Beckwith says, we are already blessed…now it’s up to US to move and utilize those blessings.
Today I woke up exhausted. After 3 weeks of job searching and being told I should start applying to minimum wage jobs (which tells me that they know I should be making more, but don’t believe in me enough to get one), I decided I was going to stop everything I do on a daily basis. I took a shower quickly, made a few important calls, and took the bus to the beach. Forget about my usual waking up, washing dishes, cleaning house, going to library to job search for hours, and shopping for needed items. I was done. Finally…I put myself first…and I didnt feel guilty.
So I headed off to the beach on the bus, and after 20 minutes I was wondering why I was doing this. As I got off the bus 25 min later and headed to towards the ocean, I remembered how peaceful it is…how it helps clear my mind and allow my heart to rest.
At that point the ocean was my only love. He didn’t care that I quit my stable job of 5years to take a chance at a marketing job. He didnt care that my heart was broken and I was filled with second thoughts. He didnt care…because he cared too much. He provided the stillness I needed to see things more clearly. He was neither for or against…almost like the great Buddha. With the tranquility he provided, he allowed me to create my own outcome. It was then that I remembered I was loved unconditionally, and that as long as I love myself and understand how hard I have been working at trying to attain my ambitions, then I didn’t need to prove it to anyone else. I understand ME. Is there more I can do? Well…there’s always more one can do.
But as I took my shoes off and skipped into the the water, I became one with nature. Looking down at the water below as the wave got pulled back into the ocean, I got dizzy. I was dizzy because it felt as if I was the one moving. Yet I was not. I then realized that if we are concentrated on what is going on around us, we often forget that we are staying still. If we do that long enough, we become overwhelmed, dizzy…and can eventually fall on our face. How does this apply to my life? Hmm. I haven’t quite figured that out…
So. I had an interview today at Sony Pictures to be a personal assistant to a great producer. I left bummed because I didnt feel as if I said all I could say, or answer as confidently as I should have. Then I realized that me actually getting a chance to interview and an opportunity to meet a great man who’s family is involved in aiding children, shows that there’s movement. Movement is the key to growing, learning, and eventual attaining my goals and dreams. Just sitting here at Sony contemplating my morning thus far is inspiring. Thank you universe for allowing me to experience this…and move forward.